Nuggets of wisdom
The Final Class
I often think about the adults I was grateful to be around as a kid. It’s ironic because, at the time, I don’t think I was aware of just how important I would later see them in my life.
Funny how it takes time and perspective to see the real value people bring to you over time. Be it a month, a year, or a decade, the length of time we spend with a person is hardly the most significant thing we cherish over the years; rather, I’d say it’s something more important: it’s the way they made you feel.
For some, that could be a grandmother, a coach, a mentor, or a teacher. Which brings me to Mitch Albom’s beloved bestseller, Tuesdays with Morrie: An Old Man, a Young Man, and Life’s Greatest Lesson.
I immediately added this book to my list after hearing someone rave about it with such enthusiasm and how it had changed the person’s life. Naturally, I had high expectations from the start, so I was surprised when it absolutely delivered for me.
The story takes us through a young man’s desire to reconnect with a beloved teacher battling ALS in his final days and the last bit of wisdom he offers during Tuesday visits, their final “class.” This book is definitely one I would consider reading again and again, with plenty of important life lessons, including the ones listed below.
1. Time Doesn’t Dictate Your Life
There’s no denying how many of us suffer from self-inflicted pressure as a result of the strict timelines we put on ourselves. This can happen as a result of following unrealistic goals and an overfocus on the results we want.
While it’s good to check in on our progress toward any of our long-term objectives, it’s important to realize when we are trying to force outcomes that are simple out of our control. What matters is that we’re not running away from our dreams and putting in the effort to enjoy the process along the way, regardless of the outcome.
“There is no such thing as ‘too late’ in life.”
2. Stay True to Yourself
It’s no secret that our culture will never stop changing and evolving, along with its interests, topics, and lifestyle. So the reality is that our values will not always align with what’s currently trending in the ether.
Thankfully, we don’t need to feel forced to follow things that we cannot relate to on a personal level. Sometimes, it’s okay to respectfully go against the grain and be an outlier rather than abandon ourselves and the boundaries that keep us honest.
“Well, for one thing, the culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. We’re teaching the wrong things. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn’t work, don’t buy it. Create your own. Most people can’t do it.”
3. Our Beliefs Inform Our Ability to Trust
I personally think it’s true that what you believe, the thoughts you carry regularly, have an enormous influence on the way you interact with the world. Sometimes, if they’re helpful, they can empower you to seek new connections and opportunities with real confidence.
But other times, when you carry negative beliefs, it’s hard to even see past them, especially when they prevent you from trusting anything positive happening for you. This is why it’s important to rewrite limiting scripts in our heads, the negative self-talk that needs replacing in order to turn things around.
“You see, you closed your eyes. That was the difference. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see; you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too–even when you’re in the dark. Even when you’re falling.”
4. Stay in Active Mode, Not the Passive Mode
Challenging moments come in seasons, and it can be hard to figure out what factors are keeping you down, particularly on low-mood days. But in my experience, I find that one of the biggest reasons has to do with whether or not I’m focusing on giving or receiving.
When I’m in a passive mode, it’s easy to get stuck judging my experience and complaining about how things should be. But when I find a way to stop resisting the present moment, this allows me to think about what actions I can actually take to make things better, one step at a time.
“I thought about all the people I knew who spent many of their waking hours feeling sorry for themselves. How useful it would be to put a daily limit on self-pity. Just a few tearful minutes, then on with the day.”
5. Embrace Every Stage in Life
I find it interesting that we’re on a journey every day, slowly becoming in the process of all we experience along the way. It’s crazy to think how much time flies by when we look back at a certain age or chapter in our lives.
It’s like walking down memory lane, and the adventures we go through with specific people in certain neighborhoods, cities, or countries we lived in. The amazing thing is that we get to hold all of these moments fondly and be grateful for all of the ways they inform who we are today.
“The truth is, part of me is every age. I’m a three-year-old, I’m a five-year-old, I’m a thirty-seven-year-old, I’m a fifty-year-old. I’ve been through all of them, and I know what it’s like. I delight in being a child when it’s appropriate to be a child. I delight in being a wise old man when it’s appropriate to be a wise old man. Think of all I can be! I am every age, up to my own.”
6. We Can’t Rewrite the Past
It only makes sense that a lot of us struggle with this particular life lesson. Who wouldn’t want to go back and redo some of the things they’re not proud of or go after what they truly wanted but didn’t know at the time?
Regret is a difficult emotion to feel, and I’m learning how to accept the wisdom it offers whenever I encounter it. While it is painfully experienced from a retrospective point of view, the truth is that it shines a light on the kind of things that genuinely matter to us; I think certain things linger for a reason, perhaps as a call to action to do something different in the future.
“We need to forgive ourselves. For all the things we didn’t do. All the things we should have done. You can’t get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened.”
7. Love is a Verb
Love is such a complicated topic that many philosophers, poets, musicians, and more have tried to unpack. But I think Albom’s quote below really explains it in an enlightening and honest way.
The way I see it, love allows you to stop living in a fantasy and see what’s in front of you in a realistic sense. And I think this applies to a person, a situation, or a painful lesson because by looking at something with a sincere desire to understand, acceptance inevitably follows, as well as the open-mindedness you need to decide what to do next.
“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. Let it come in. We think we don’t deserve love, we think if we let it in we’ll become too soft. But a wise man named Levin said it right. He said, “Love is the only rational act.”
8. You Get What You Give
I think one of the most paradoxical things about life is that the more you put into it the more you get out of it. At first, that sounds like a lot of hard work and discipline.
But the truth is, when you’re enjoying the things you’re doing in a consistent manner, the whole experience becomes rewarding in itself. As old as the saying goes, the value of following your passion, purpose, or life’s task is really something I don’t think can be understated.
“So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important. This is because they’re chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”
9. Silence is Underrated
As social creatures, it’s no wonder that our need for belonging and connection can cause us to be afraid of alone time. But can we not feel both from just being present with ourselves?
When you think about it, any habit of wanting to hear constant chatter or noise in the background as a way to distract us seems silly. Maybe it’s a clear sign that we have a mental loop of negative thoughts and complaints that are worth sweeping away with our own peace of mind.
“Why are we embarrassed by silence? What comfort do we find in all the noise?”
Important Life Lessons
This book is an insightful read with plenty of wisdom and important life lessons on every page. It’s also a great testament to the possibility of reaching out to someone you love, no matter how much time has gone by.
With themes covering relationships, grief, love, forgiveness, and the search for meaning, it delves deep into the painful parts of life that aren’t generally easy to talk about. So if you’re on the lookout for something to really move you, then this is one I highly recommend!
