Photo taken inside the Roman Colosseum
Beneath the Surface
We’ve all seen that expression before—whether it’s the sharp glare of an angry relative or the tense gaze of a frustrated coworker. The visible signs of anger are usually easy to spot.
Anger shows up in different ways, partly shaped by our upbringing. Eyes might narrow or widen, brows furrow, and veins bulge across the forehead or neck.
Jaws tighten, fists clench, and for a brief moment, it’s as if our awareness vanishes into thin air. It’s rarely pleasant to witness.
Most of the time, we view angry outbursts as morally wrong. And there’s no denying that, when left unchecked, anger can spiral into rage and spread negativity.
So it makes sense why we often link anger with bad behavior. In many situations, using anger to control or frighten others is undeniably harmful.
But anger is far more complex than it seems. It’s not always easy to grasp, especially from the outside. Sometimes, we simply don’t have enough information to understand the full picture.
It’s easy to judge without context—to label someone’s actions as irrational, like comparing them to the Incredible Hulk, roaring in fury and losing all control.
But is it possible that something deeper is at play? That what we’re seeing is a primal response—a reaction to a threat, real or perceived, that triggers our fight-or-flight instinct?
When a mother protects her children, where does her fierce defiance come from? When a community rises against injustice, what emotion first fuels their determination?
Anger can be difficult to feel, but it often signals something meaningful. When managed responsibly, it can reveal important truths and serve a larger purpose.
Raising Our Voice
When we witness something wrong or inhumane, it’s natural for anger to rise within us. But instead of letting that anger consume us, we can channel it into action.
Growing up, I was lucky to witness people speak out whenever injustice or cruelty occurred. Time and again, I saw others choose to do what was right.
That often meant confronting unkind or disrespectful behavior in hopes of changing things. It required courage—a boldness to speak the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Being on the receiving end of honesty isn’t always easy. Still, it’s a necessary part of growth. Truth can hurt, but sometimes it must in order to be taken seriously.
Speaking up helps people recognize their actions. It sparks self-awareness and doesn’t have to involve cruelty or harshness.
We can express anger calmly and respectfully—and it’s often far more powerful that way. We can let our emotions guide us to act in alignment with our values.
We raise our voices when we speak out for truth, stand up for someone in need, or confront harmful behavior we witness.
Winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, Malala Yousafzai, once said:
“I raise up my voice—not so I can shout but so that those without a voice can be heard… we cannot succeed when half of us are held back.”
Catalyst for Change
Anger is one of the most confusing emotions because it often comes with a flood of others—doubt, fear, insecurity—that cloud our judgment.
It’s hard to think clearly when we’re overwhelmed, especially during high-stakes moments. Sometimes we need to act fast. Other times, we need to step back.
It’s a moment of deep inner reflection. Knowing when to speak and when to let go is one of the hardest things to master.
Our instincts may betray us when our clarity is compromised. Still, there are times when witnessing someone’s dignity being violated is enough to stir something powerful inside us.
In those moments, our anger is justified. Other times, we may discover that miscommunication is the true root of the conflict.
That’s why open, honest dialogue is so essential. It helps heal misconceptions, bias, and misjudgments that prevent us from seeing one another clearly.
Reacting with shame or judgment only adds to the confusion, especially when our understanding of a situation is incomplete.
There’s often more going on when someone lashes out. Maybe they seem immature—or maybe they’re just overwhelmed by pain.
It can be hard to tell. But what matters is how someone chooses to use their anger.
What matters is whether it becomes a destructive outburst or a clear expression of violated boundaries. Because in any case, we must protect our peace, our mindset, and our energy.
We live with integrity when we express our truth in the hope of healing and preventing future harm. This takes honesty—with others and with ourselves. The alternative can be far more damaging.
Ignoring our anger can lead to deep resentment, sorrow, and rage that eventually explode in destructive ways.
In Atlas of the Heart, Brené Brown writes:
“Anger is a catalyst. Holding onto it will make us exhausted and sick. Internalizing anger will take away our joy and spirit; externalizing anger will make us less effective in our attempts to create change and forge connection. It’s an emotion that we need to transform into something life-giving: courage, love, change, compassion, justice.”
All One’s Heart
It’s strange how cultural messages teach us which emotions are “acceptable” to express and which are not.
Sometimes, our need to fit in causes us to suppress our instincts—even when we sense something is clearly wrong.
Anyone who dares to speak out can be seen as a threat. Even with the best intentions, rocking the boat can quickly lead to rejection.
It takes courage to speak up. It takes courage to disagree when you’re the only one.
It takes courage to break away from the status quo and accept the backlash. The word courage comes from the Latin cor, meaning heart.
Its origin is rooted in the idea of speaking your truth by revealing your whole heart. Courage is about openness, no matter what social rules say or how others might judge.
It’s an act of integrity—a way of showing up fully, not hiding behind a single version of yourself. We’re not meant to live without tension.
We are complex, and so are our emotions. Even the ones that seem negative can be transformed.
Our deepest struggles connect us to one another. We learn from how others navigate their toughest moments.
When we witness someone turn anger into purpose, it inspires us. It gives others the courage to reflect, speak honestly, and be themselves.
It’s a fire that lights up the room—not out of rage, but out of love for justice. That fire comes from the heart. It unites all emotions in a moment that calls for truth.
In Long Walk to Freedom, Nelson Mandela wrote:
“I learned that courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”
Passing the Torch
We never forget those rare people who stood up for us. We may not remember their names, but we remember their actions.
With so many people crossing our paths, it’s hard to recall everyone who gave us their support. But the impact they leave is unforgettable.
Even if the details fade, something inside us changes when someone uses their anger to defend us. It leaves a mark.
To this day, I’m thankful to those who showed me what it means to stand your ground when your rights are on the line. I’m grateful to have learned what healthy anger looks like in action.
Few things teach us more than seeing someone use their anger to stand up for us. Because in those moments, even if it’s messy, we know exactly where their outrage comes from.
Beyond the clenched jaws and intense stares, it’s clear what they’re fighting for.
It’s an act of courage and compassion, the kind of impression that stays with us for life; a passing of the torch that shows us what any act of bravery ultimately requires.
