Photo taken in Stockholm, Sweden
Newfound Insights
It’s a strange thing when something we once thought of as a nightmare turns out to be a hidden blessing. Is it simply the gift of hindsight, or is something deeper at play?
Even now, I find myself thinking about all the random things I used to dislike—things like turtleneck sweaters, jean overalls, or pickles—all of which I’ve come to enjoy over time. Do we just change our minds, or does our perspective evolve as we grow?
In my experience, it’s the latter. Still, it’s fascinating how we can dislike something for so long before suddenly seeing it in a whole new light.
It happens in an instant—like a bolt of lightning—when a fresh insight emerges, and suddenly, a new relationship is formed. It’s clear that our relationships with anything or anyone are shaped by the beliefs we hold at our core.
Whether positive or negative, these beliefs become the inner narratives we carry—automatic thoughts shaped by every impression. Thankfully, with effort, we can rewrite those narratives.
One relationship that comes to mind here is the one we have with ourselves. While this might be seen differently across cultures, I personally grew up with the belief that being alone wasn’t a good thing.
For years, I associated solitude with negativity. Words like “hermit,” “outsider,” or “loner” painted a bleak picture that society imprinted early on.
From an evolutionary perspective, this makes sense. Social isolation was a threat to survival. But today, could it be that solitude still holds something valuable?
What if, now and then, we made room to enjoy our own company?
Something Taboo
One experience I’ll never forget illustrates this well. During college, while working part-time, a coworker mentioned a popular local restaurant. After hearing her rave about it, I said I’d try it out during my lunch break.
Her response stopped me in my tracks. “By yourself?” she asked, clearly surprised. I understood the reaction—but the way she said it made it feel like I’d admitted to something forbidden, like a social faux pas.
I said yes, and she expressed how odd she thought that was. I didn’t push the topic further, but I walked away wondering: What’s so shocking about someone going to a restaurant, ordering a meal, and enjoying it alone?
What’s so strange about doing something independently?
It seems contradictory. We live in a time that celebrates autonomy, yet we still feel judged when seen alone in public. We champion independence—but fear being perceived as solitary.
Still, there’s something admirable about those who do things on their own without hesitation. We see them all the time.
They’re reading in a café, walking through the park, playing music, or working out solo—and when we do, it’s worth noticing. It reminds us that self-connection is just as important as our social lives.
It shows us that regardless of perception, our relationship with ourselves matters deeply. Because while loneliness can hurt our well-being, neglecting our self-worth is just as harmful.
In The Complete Essays, philosopher Michel de Montaigne once wrote:
“The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.”
One Constant
In today’s connected world, it’s easy to spend an entire day immersed in noise—chatter from videos, social media, and constant outings.
When left unchecked, this endless input can feel like an addiction. It begs the question: Are we numbing ourselves? What might we be avoiding that only solitude can reveal?
One of life’s most important challenges is learning to balance social time with alone time. Like all dualities, life moves in rhythms—waves, breaths, and cycles of giving and receiving.
This is why solitude and connection are both essential. Everyone’s needs differ, but what matters most is figuring out what works best for you.
Even amid vibrant social lives, there’s value in introspection—in pausing to explore what we really feel, think, and value.
In a world that constantly changes, one thing remains: our own conscious thought. Beneath all the noise is a stillness, always waiting for us to return to it.
In Manuscript Found in Accra, author Paulo Coelho once wrote:
“Solitude is not the absence of love, but its complement… If you are never alone, you cannot know yourself. And if you do not know yourself, you will begin to fear the void. But the void does not exist. A vast world lies hidden in our soul, waiting to be discovered. There it is, with all its strength intact, but it is so new and so powerful that we are afraid to acknowledge its existence.”
Surprising Ourselves
Today, the idea of “me-time” is widely accepted. It’s synonymous with self-care—a time to recharge and reconnect with ourselves.
With more tools and knowledge available, it’s no surprise that prioritizing rest and balance has a real impact on mental health. Studies show that alone time supports personal growth, empathy, and productivity.
It gives space to explore interests, build independence, and grow in confidence. It also helps ease the pressure to conform socially.
But one of the most empowering parts of solitude is how it sharpens our skills. When we step away from distractions and reflect on what matters, we may surprise ourselves with what we’re capable of.
Research confirms that healthy solitude boosts creativity—especially helpful for those searching for purpose.
Collaboration has its place, but mastering any craft takes focus, persistence, and individual effort. It’s a personal journey unique to each person.
Honestly, it’s hard to picture a true master of any field improving their art with constant chatter in the background. Silence often helps us do our best work.
If we’re serious about reaching our goals, solitude is essential. In that space, we find clarity, voice, and identity.
And what’s more fulfilling than using your talents in service of something greater? In The Wim Hof Method, Wim Hof writes:
“It was through this contemplation that I was able to go where I had never gone before, become aware and bring all these energies within me into my consciousness. I realized that we all have this sacred spot within us, and it became my aim to access it. Once you can do that, you become aware of your own light, your own being, your own purpose.”
Bigger Picture
Growing up, the word “loner” carried a harsh tone. I don’t recall it being aimed at any one person—but I do remember how negative it sounded.
It came up in places like school cafeterias or office lunchrooms—environments where social status mattered. Maybe comments like that stuck with us and fed into our discomfort with being alone.
But how much of that fear is actually self-imposed?
Is our fear of solitude based on what others think—or what we tell ourselves?
Because when we really look at people pursuing things alone, are we judging them—or are we actually inspired?
Maybe there’s something freeing about someone confidently doing their own thing in plain sight. Maybe their presence gives us permission to do the same.
So that if we ever feel burdened by the stigma of solitude, we might actually choose to reframe it. Maybe we might take a step back to view the bigger picture, to zoom out enough to see just how many of us are out there.
So that when we finally give ourselves the time to reflect on any of this, we might arrive at an undeniable truth—that any inkling of aloneness remains a speck of insignificance inside the grand scheme of our irreversibly, wonderfully shared, human existence.
