Big Ben Clock Tower in London
The Recurring Theme
For as long as I can remember, one recurring theme keeps showing up in the stories I watch and love. In Christmas movies, I heard it through the warm encouragement of Santa Claus.
In sports films like Space Jam, it arrives in the final moments, when Michael Jordan taps into something deep inside to win the game. In Spielberg’s Hook, it’s in the magical scene where Peter and the Lost Boys imagine a feast into existence.
This same message surfaces again and again if we’re paying attention. Sometimes it’s subtle, other times it’s unmistakably clear.
We see it again in the hit series Ted Lasso, where Coach Lasso tapes a scrap of paper over his office door with one powerful word—believe.
Maybe you’ve heard the phrase “seeing is believing.” But these stories flip that: belief must come first. It’s belief that helped Jordan fly, that helped Peter remember.
After seeing this theme so many times, it’s hard not to think that believing in yourself holds real weight. Which raises the question: why do we need so many reminders?
Is belief something we forget over time? Do we lose touch with this natural ability? And if so, when and why?
To this day, I can still remember early images of the adventurous characters in Peter Pan flying high above London’s Big Ben tower and scenic views. As a kid, I felt enchanted by it. As an adult, I wonder—what was that flight really about?
Label Makers
Like most 90s kids, I spent my childhood outdoors playing tag, hide-and-seek, cops and robbers, and freeze tag. Still, one game I kept running into stood out—it didn’t feel like just a game. It felt more like a puzzle I needed to figure out.
This one had no clear rules and played out in strange ways. It always seemed to follow something new: the first time I sang, danced, raced, or played a sport. And it came with a consequence—feedback.
Sometimes, the feedback was helpful and kind. Other times, it was blunt: “You’re good at this.” Or worse, “You’re bad at this.” In one short phrase, someone decided what I was capable of.
I call these people the Label Makers—the ones who rush to categorize others based on a single performance. It’s as if putting people into boxes helps them make sense of the world.
Learning how to deal with labels seems like a rite of passage. Naturally, everyone holds their own opinions.
But when children are still forming their identity, a harsh comment can stick. It can shut down a passion before it has a chance to grow.
Is it possible that these early moments plant the seeds of doubt? If someone tells us we’re not good at something, should we stop altogether?
Because if we are told that we are bad at doing a specific thing, does it mean that we should give up on it entirely? Can all you are capable of achieving be fully captured within one minor fleeting moment of your entire existence?
The Magic Number
As we get older, society often points to natural talent as the reason for success. We hear people praise others for being “gifted” far more than for being persistent.
But researchers studying mastery and performance insist that consistent practice matters far more. They say it takes about 10,000 hours to master any skill.
This is why not all feedback is useful. Unless it offers real guidance, it doesn’t serve our growth. Constructive insight is valuable—but vague opinions aren’t.
Emotions rise and fall, but commitment is what moves us forward. No matter how well or poorly we start, we determine our growth by how often we show up.
Anything can be changed. Anything can be developed. Anything can be transformed. In Mastery, Robert Greene writes:
“The great danger is that we give in to feelings of boredom, impatience, fear, and confusion. We stop observing and learning. The process comes to a halt. If, on the other hand, we manage these emotions and allow time to take its course, something remarkable begins to take shape. As we continue to observe and follow the lead of others, we gain clarity, learning the rules and seeing how things work and fit together. If we keep practicing, we gain fluency; basic skills are mastered, allowing us to take on newer and more exciting challenges.”
Markers of Evolution
One of the biggest obstacles to growth is fear—fear of failure, fear of embarrassment, fear of falling short. But nearly every high achiever has had to face this fear and change their relationship to it.
Experts and thought leaders have shared their stories of achievement in which they had to overcome their version of inner resistance. Some even figured out how to alter their relationships with failure by separating it from fear itself.
Mistakes, it turns out, are powerful teachers. They show us where to focus and where to improve. They mark our growth.
Ultimately, they become the markers of our evolution against minor setbacks. This is why when we find a way to embrace failing earlier in the process, we are also practicing the value of learning faster.
We have nothing to be afraid of when we can make swift choices. By liberating ourselves from any debilitating fears, we need not suffer from indecision.
We can rest assured, knowing that anything that went wrong in the past only confirms what not to do in the future. In Creativity, Inc., President of Pixar Animation, Ed Catmull, writes:
“Discussing failure and all its rippling effects is not merely an academic exercise. We face it because by seeking better understanding, we remove barriers to full creative engagement. One of the biggest barriers is fear, and while failure comes with the territory, fear shouldn’t have to. The goal, then, is to uncouple fear and failure – to create an environment in which making mistakes doesn’t strike terror into your employees’ hearts.”
Willpower, Unlocked
Today, many experts in peak performance promote tools like positive self-talk, affirmations, and visualization. Athletes like Michael Jordan and Michael Phelps credit these habits for their mental edge.
These practices fuel our willpower and help us take real steps toward our goals. They strengthen our belief, and belief fuels our momentum.
Because how we speak to ourselves matters. The words we use—internally or aloud—shape the path we believe we can take.
In A Return To Love, Marianne Williamson writes:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?”
Taking Flight
For years, I let the Label Makers dictate what I thought I could do. Then something strange happened. After one activity, I received two completely opposite reviews—one said I was great, the other said I wasn’t.
That moment cracked something open. If both could be true, then maybe neither had to be. I started to question the entire system.
I could not help but think – which one is it? How can I be both good and bad at the exact same thing?
My confusion was enough to help me realize that nothing in what someone says should ever eclipse the real value of our potential; that more than anything else, it is the personal beliefs we give power to that will determine our destination.
While a label can feel discouragingly permanent, each and every moment is absolutely temporary. Because we are not one moment in time; we are not a single point, but the entire line.
It is up to us to decide what to do with what we learn – to sink low by playing small or to rise enough to shatter the labels once and for all. In any given second, we are not our mistakes. We are not our failures.
You are, forevermore, who you choose to be; a choice made from an indispensable belief in what you’re made of, that can lift you higher and get you soaring, up and above, your wildest dreams.
