Photo taken at Orakei Bay, New Zealand
Highest Self
I’ve come to recognize a huge misunderstanding moving through the ether when it comes to the actual meaning of self-direction. On the surface, one might judge the term to refer to negative characteristics, such as someone behaving selfishly, stubbornly, and antisocially.
But to be honest with you, I can’t help but see how this way of thinking bears all the hallmarks of fear, submission, and control. Personally, I think the idea behind it is quite simple and relates to the very thing we all have to do at some point in our lives, whether we’re ready or not: grow up and parent ourselves.
When I first came across the term, this is how I understood it to mean: it’s about taking responsibility, setting boundaries, and living up to the values that align with the most authentic expression of you. It’s about owning your experience and learning to work better with others in the pursuit of living your highest self.
Of course, this is a lot easier said than done, and the everyday grind for continuous improvement is no simple feat, particularly when it requires going inward and being honest with yourself. It takes a great deal of consistent effort, dismantling the false beliefs while balancing a life of both confidence and humility in your journey toward self-discovery.
Nevertheless, we hold all the potential we need to achieve discipline, a word that goes back to its root origin of discere, meaning to learn. For a bit of inspiration, here are 20 personal growth quotes to remember as you continue striving in the direction of your goals.
“There is a tension between what is good for someone and what they want to do. This is because people, especially older people, like to do things as they’ve always done them. The problem is that when the brain develops ingrained habits, it doesn’t need to think anymore. Things get done very quickly and efficiently on automatic pilot, often in a very advantageous way. This creates a tendency to stick to routines, and the only way of breaking these is to confront the brain with new information.”
― Hector Garcia Puigcerver, Ikigai
“I don’t believe in twisting yourself into knots of excuses and explanations over the food you make. When one’s hostess starts in with self-deprecations such as ‘Oh, I don’t know how to cook…,’ or ‘Poor little me…,’ or ‘This may taste awful…,’ it is so dreadful to have to reassure her that everything is delicious and fine, whether it is or not. Besides, such admissions only draw attention to one’s shortcomings (or self-perceived shortcomings), and make the other person think, ‘Yes, you’re right, this really is an awful meal!’ Maybe the cat has fallen into the stew, or the lettuce has frozen, or the cake has collapsed—eh bien, tant pis! Usually one’s cooking is better than one thinks it is. And if the food is truly vile, as my ersatz eggs Florentine surely were, then the cook must simply grit her teeth and bear it with a smile—and learn from her mistakes.”
― Julia Child, My Life in France
“Some 2,600 years ago the ancient Greek poet Pindar wrote, ‘Become who you are by learning who you are.’ What he meant is the following: You are born with a particular makeup and tendencies that mark you as a piece of fate. It is who you are to the core. Some people never become who they are; they stop trusting in themselves; they conform to the tastes of others, and they end up wearing a mask that hides their true nature. If you allow yourself to learn who you really are by paying attention to that voice and force within you, then you can become what you were fated to become—an individual, a Master.”
― Robert Greene, Mastery
“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.”
― Henry David Thoreau, Walden
“About the only value the story of my life may have is to show that one can, even without any particular gifts, overcome obstacles that seem insurmountable if one is willing to face the fact that they must be overcome; that, in spite of timidity and fear, in spite of a lack of special talents, one can find a way to live widely and fully. Perhaps the most important thing that has come out of my life is the discovery that if you prepare yourself at every point as well as you can, with whatever means you may have, however meager they may seem, you will be able to grasp opportunity for broader experience when it appears. Without preparation you cannot do it. The fatal thing is the rejection. Life was meant to be lived, and curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt, The Autobiography of Eleanor Roosevelt
“You can’t concentrate on doing anything if you are thinking, ‘What’s gonna happen if it doesn’t go right?’”
― Malcolm Gladwell, David and Goliath
“Grateful that I went after my happiness like my life depended on it, because it did. The time spent in therapy, the time after therapy, and the calm and patience I have gained through growth and learning more and doing better. No one is unrecoverable. You can change your life anytime you want.”
― Chelsea Handler, I’ll Have What She’s Having
“Your days are numbered. Use them to throw open the windows of your soul to the sun. If you do not, the sun will soon set, and you with it.”
― Marcus Aurelius, The Emperor’s Handbook
“Be an experimental person. Break up fixed routines. Expose yourself to new restaurants, new books, new theaters, new friends; take a different route to work someday, take a different vacation this year, do something new and different this weekend.”
― David J. Schwartz, The Magic of Thinking Big
“There are a lot of things in life we can’t control. It’s hard, especially when you’re a child, to feel like you have control over anything. Like you can change anything. But you can control your body and you can control your mind. That might not sound like a lot, but it’s very powerful. It can change everything.”
― James Doty, Into the Magic Shop
“Cat: Where are you going? / Alice: Which way should I go? / Cat: That depends on where you are going. / Alice: I don’t know. / Cat: Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
“Most of us avoid telling the truth because it’s uncomfortable. We’re afraid of the consequences—making others feel uncomfortable, hurting their feelings, or risking their anger. And yet, when we don’t tell the truth, and others don’t tell us the truth, we can’t deal with matters from a basis in reality. We’ve all heard the phrase that ‘the truth will set you free.’ And it will. The truth allows us to be free to deal with the way things are, not the way we imagine them to be or hope them to be or might manipulate them to be with our lies. The truth also frees up our energy. It takes energy to withhold the truth, keep a secret, or keep up an act.”
― Jack Canfield, The Success Principles
“A human being always acts and feels and performs in accordance with what he imagines to be true about himself and his environment… For imagination sets the goal ‘picture’ which our automatic mechanism works on. We act, or fail to act, not because of ‘will,’ as is so commonly believed, but because of imagination.”
― Maxwell Maltz, The New Psycho-Cybernetics
“Someday” is a disease that will take your dreams to the grave with you.”
― Timothy Ferriss, The 4-Hour Workweek
“Aim higher in case you fall short.”
― Suzanne Collins, Catching Fire
“If you’re trying to show off for people at the top, forget it. They will look down on you anyhow. And if you’re trying to show off for people at the bottom, forget it. They will only envy you. Status will get you nowhere. Only an open heart will allow you to float equally between everyone.”
― Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie
“Read books by people whose perspective is different from yours, listen to voices you haven’t heard before, look for narratives that are new to you. In them and with them, you might end up finding more room for yourself.”
― Michelle Obama, The Light We Carry
“Refrain to-night; / And that shall lend a kind of easiness / To the next abstinence, the next more easy; / For use almost can change the stamp of nature, / And either master the devil or throw him out / With wondrous potency.”
― William Shakespeare, Hamlet
“Push yourself to do more and to experience more. Harness your energy to start expanding your dreams. Yes, expand your dreams. Don’t accept a life of mediocrity when you hold such infinite potential within the fortress of your mind. Dare to tap into your greatness.”
― Robin S. Sharma, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari
“The little things of life, sweet and excellent in their place, must not be the things lived for; the highest must be sought and followed; the life of heaven must be begun here on earth.”
― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of the Island
The Climb
In my experience, no matter where you are in your personal journey, the dedication you put into doing the work on yourself goes a long way. It’s not always easy to see at first, but eventually, and with time, there’s no denying the impact it has on the quality of your life.
For some, maybe it helps to follow a strict system of reflection and revision; for others, maybe it has more to do with sticking with it and waiting patiently to see any noticeable effects. Once again, this is where self-direction comes in; only you can tell what’s working and worth repeating, until one day, when you’re willing, you might see the ground you covered, enough to smile to yourself, knowing what you can only get from starting the climb.
